Tomas Adzgauskas, a Lithuanian-Israeli soldier who fought in Gaza, has died by suicide. In a final, harrowing social media post, he wrote of being haunted by "a demon" since the October 7th attacks and of committing acts for which he could find no forgiveness.
A former Israeli soldier has died by suicide after publishing an anguished final message describing the profound psychological trauma he suffered following his military service in the Gaza Strip.
Tomas Adzgauskas, a Lithuanian-born Israeli citizen who served as a commander in an elite sniper unit, was found dead on Friday, December 5. Prior to his death, he posted a lengthy and deeply personal confession on his Facebook account, which has since circulated internationally.
In the post, Adzgauskas directly linked his severe mental distress to the Hamas-led attack on Israel on October 7, 2023, which sparked the ongoing war. "October 7, the date that ruined my life and destroyed everything I was," he wrote. He described a relentless internal struggle, stating, "There is a demon inside me that has been chasing me since 7.10."
The core of his anguish centered on actions taken during the subsequent ground invasion of Gaza. "I did things that cannot be forgiven, and I can’t live with it anymore," Adzgauskas confessed. "No one understands me anyway." He portrayed himself as a man divided, pleading with friends and family: "Please forget me and remember the Tomas who was an officer and a sniper commander. That Tomas died on the 7th; I am only a soul searching for peace."
Adzgauskas was discharged from the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) in April 2024. His message indicated his psychological distress was prolonged and untreated, concluding, "For two years now I haven’t been able to live with myself."
The Israeli military has not yet issued an official statement regarding the incident. Adzgauskas's death casts a stark light on the severe and lasting psychological toll the conflict extracts from combatants, a human cost that often remains hidden long after the fighting stops.
His final post serves as a tragic and raw testament to the complex moral injuries and profound guilt that can haunt soldiers long after they leave the battlefield, underscoring a critical dimension of war's casualty count that extends far beyond physical wounds.
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